a lesson in communication

i come from a background where people didnt tell each other how they really felt, especially if they were angry or hurt with each other. when i was younger, i would keep emotions to myself, all the while being filled with anxiety. when there was tension in my house, i often didnt know the reason. i would guess and make my own assumptions. sometimes i was right. and if i was wrong, i never knew. and when i became upset with someone, i stayed upset thinking that eventually, they would figure out why i was upset with them. i grew up reading people and thinking others did the same.

ive been an adult for too many years now, and it never dawned on me that i could no longer use the past to justify my actions; that how i was 'trained' is no longer an acceptable excuse for my behavior. today, i try to be clear about my wishes, wants, and needs. and i try not to assume that people understand me or automatically know what i want. i also keep in mind that unless ive been told something directly, i shouldnt make an assumption about someone or a situation. learning this has been a tough road as ive had to endure much unnecessary grief.

now that im married, i learn small (and mostly painless) lessons daily, thanks to my patient, loving, and brave husband who doesnt put up with my outbursts and tells me frequently that he cannot read my mind. now i really get it that men say what they mean and mean what they say, whereas we women tend to imply or hope the other person will simply know.

...so, is this why its more difficult for women to communicate with each other? :D