the thing about love

the thing about love, ive learned, is that its more than something you 'feel' in moments when things are harmonious...love is a choice and a commitment .

in the last months, i have come to understand more and more that a feeling-kind-of-person like me cannot always rely on mere feelings because feelings come and go. for example, feelings of hunger, pain, satisfaction, tiredness, excitement...they change throughout the day. and if we say love is just a feeling, then i suppose it would come and go too at the mercy of mood and circumstance.

ive inadvertently put this notion of love to the test. what ive discovered is that love is much much more than just a warm fuzzy feeling you have (romantically speaking). love is the actions - the act of being loving towards the other person in those not-so-loving moments. love means being unselfish when i want to have my way; it means to be patient when i would rather be intolerant; it means being kind when i could be harsh.

...love is a choice i make to be gentle and loving when every cell in my body is screaming anger, frustration, or hurt.
...it means that i make a conscious effort to ensure that the other person knows i still love them even when i dont feel like doing so
...but most importantly, love is making the commitment to work it out even when its just easier to walk away.

of course, its all easier said than done, but i believe im getting better and better at it. i am the kind of person to not be direct in dealing with unpleasant situations and it always caused me and the party involved unnecessary grief. its still not easy though, but i have a much better grip on how it works now. i am continually amazed at the results each time i am given an opportunity to refine it. the key is keeping in mind the bigger goal and not focusing on a moment or situation.