the delivery

he parked the car, locked it, and checked it again to make sure it was locked. afterall, this is an unfamiliar neighborhood and he may be here for a while. then again, this could be the wrong house and he would have to turn back and leave within minutes. either way, he was nervous. nervous that he would see her. but more so that he wouldnt. after all these months of searching and planning, he feared that it would be in vain.

it had been years since they last saw each other. the last time they met, they sat drinking tea and relived some childhood memories. it had been so long even the conversation was hazy. but he did recall that they were both drinking assam tea. black with just a dash of sugar. it was funny like that, they shared so many of the same idiosyncrasies. he remembered being mesmerized by her hair as she talked. her slight curls shone under the light, giving her a halo. those curls looked so soft he wanted to reach over and run his fingers through them like he used to. but he held back. the regret of that moment brought him back to the present.

after entering through a wooden gate, there was a curved walkway lined with blooming pink tulips. her favorite, he thought. his heart started to beat faster as he neared the front door and it felt as if his heart would come out of his chest. as he stepped onto the porch he saw a wooden park bench, the old fashioned kind that had black iron armrests and legs. hanging on am armrest was a purple sweater. it was a thick knit, the kind your grandmother would make. taking a closer look, he realized it was a little girl's sweater because a couple of pom poms were dangling from the hood.

when julie was young, her grandmother would knit several sweaters for her every fall. they were usually in shades of pink or purple. she loved to show it off as soon as her grandmother finished one. she'd come over and ask him if he liked it. what he remembered too were the curls that would fall over the hood of her sweater, and how the light always caressed each strand of hair. her face would glow with girlish excitement as she twirled to display her new gift.

he became distracted by the uncollected mail spilling out of the mailbox beside the door. knowing he wouldnt forgive himself if he didnt have a look, he lifted the first envelope slightly, just enough to see the addressee without pulling it out of the box.

DANIEL M. DE SOTO, it read.

that name didnt sound familiar. then again, why should it? there was a strange sense of hope now. hope that this was not her house, but even more, hope that she was still out there somewhere waiting for him to find her. before he turned back towards his car, he decided to check another piece of mail. he pulled one out of the box and looked at it. it was an invitation for MR. and MRS. DE SOTO. dissatisfied, he took out another envelope. this one was a card. its size gave it away. it was addressed to JULITA DE SOTO.

after graduating from college, julie came up with the idea of taking a year off to do some traveling. she thought mexico and other parts of latin america would be ideal since they both always talked about going there. during their travels, she loved interacting with the local people in the small towns. when asked her name, she would say 'julie,' but they somehow always heard julita. since then, julita was what he called her when he was in a playful mood...


his heart sank in realization that this was probably julie's home, and that she was probably MRS. DE SOTO. he must have unknowingly made too much noise putting the envelopes back because the door suddenly opened. in the doorway stood a tall light-skinned man with dark wavy hair, probably in his early thirties. he had an ease about him that shone in his smiling eyes. "can i help you?" the man asked.

it was an awkward moment. here standing before him was probably the man julie chose in his place. he was thinking about all the other possibilities...a distant cousin from out of town, a friend visiting the family, the electrician, etc. hope seemed to have left him with an expression of bewilderment and defeat.

"hey, are you ok? is there something i can help you with?" asked the pleasant man at the door. and with a bit of a chuckle, he continued, "you're not a rookie salesman who forgot his pitch, are ya? you seem a bit lost."

does it show? he asked himself. gathering his dignity, he responded, "yeah...uh, i guess you could say i am a bit disoriented. im looking for julie...is there someone named julie who lives here?"