murky waters

often images can seem beautiful, flawless, even crystal clear. but upon examination and reflection, you discover that there is a lot of dust and imperfection. looking even closer, you start to see some parts that can potentially ruin the whole image if left unfixed.

i think the same can be said about human nature. while some argue that people are inherently good, i believe that we are inherently selfish and unkind. i mean, why does it take learning and effort to be good people? why do we need reminders to be grateful? why do we make bad choices when we know the better options? why must there be rewards for being good? because its just not in our nature. take 'good' people for example. they practice doing good deeds; they consciously make make good choices.

it starts early. children naturally want what they want. if they werent taught that they cant always have their way, that they have to think of others, and that there are consequences for their actions, they would grow up being menaces. it is because they are taught self-control that they learn to be less selfish.

on a personal level, ive learned that my own nature is selfish. even when faced with circumstances where i am given chances to be otherwise, i dont always choose it. instead, i can be mean and abrupt, even hurtful because it is easier (at that moment). its certainly easier than sticking around and dealing with the issue. at least it seems so at the moment. but i keep learning that the consequences of those actions are even harder to fix in the long run. by then, there is more to repair.

i am being reminded of the many times that ive behaved this way. and i can hardly beleive that i still do this knowing the past results. i must be really dense, or stubborn, or selfish...or just plain hopeless.

fortunately, i know im not the latter.